Why being the "Bad Guy" is OK!

         Imagine two people dancing

One is in the lead, the other gracefully following their steps. That is how life can be and, boy, can it throw you for a loop. Too oftentimes, as women, we find ourselves in the position of having to be the leader in the relationship. This includes planning, finances, organizing, and even keeping the relationship fun and exciting. It is overwhelming and too often it turns into being “the bad guy.” 

Lately, I have been successful at scoring being in that role. This means I get the opportunity to tell my husband, mind you it is over and over again, about deadlines, plans, etc. Many times he does not really process what I am saying. I am sure others can relate here. However, it is always a fun experience when the deadline impacts him or his family. That is when the bad guy persona is intensified. I mean, how dare you set plans and deadlines that they were unaware of. Granted, you have been mentioning or asking questions around this deadline for days with no real response. It just gets downright frustrating.

So, I have been thinking. How do we, as strong and independent women, change this feeling? Truly it is an internal battle that we are making our reality. What if we could just stop, find our center, and relax into the situation. What others think of us, even if it is the in-laws, is not our business. Being the “bad guy” is really just acting as someone with goals and higher standards for accomplishment. Someone once told me that it is the art of leaning in. Sheryl Sandberg even wrote a whole book about it. By stepping into your fear of that title and truly realizing the situation for what it is can assist you in overcoming this issue. Now, I am not saying this is easy. Quite the contrary. 

As of today, I am going to step into the qualities of boldness and confidence. These two qualities can accent the goals that I have set while overcoming the thinking about other's perceptions. Let me be the bad guy if that means that I can achieve what I set my mind to.


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